My hope is that we pass on the importance of family, education, and helping others.  We will give you the ideal situation even though ours is not picture perfect.  My hope is that you will exceed my expectations and have a better life.  Ours has filled with personal struggles and financial challenges.

As you know we have a small family.  Our immediate family includes your uncle, aunt, and cousin.  Everyone else is out of the country, including grandpa and your mom’s family.  Cherish what you have, respect your elders, and always watch out for each other.   We are all there are at the moment.

My hope is that you go all with way with your education.  You will need to show that you can complete the higher standards of education so you can carry those skills, knowledge, and commitment in the working world.  You will have to be better than average.  Average will not get you noticed and average will not pay you what you are worth.  Everything costs money.  We have very little of it.  You will need to make your own.

My hope is that you will not be selfish with you time and talents.  Go out and help someone, fight for a cause, do what is right!  Do not get caught up with yourself that you forget others.  Our family and our cultures are known for being hospitable, friendly, and caring.  Helping others is good for the soul.  We believe in karma, don’t let it hit you because you were too busy and self absorbed.

My hope is that you will exceed in something that you love doing.  You can also be the jack of all trades or a master of a few.  What ever you choose to do in your life, make sure you are happy.  Making money is important, but you should be happy in what you are doing.  Find purpose in everything you do.  The money will follow.

By the time you read and understand this I will be that much older.  I may forget to tell you these things so I hope you come back and read all the lessons I/we have left behind.

We want the best for you.  Just because we are older doesn’t mean we know less than you do.  We have gone through many life lessons that you still have not learned.  My hope is that you learn from our mistakes so you can be a better person.

Never be afraid to speak your mind.  We prefer honesty even if it hurts.  The truth often hurts.  We’re here to listen and guide you.  You are not alone.

No to strangers

Growing up our teachers and parents would always say, ‘don’t talk to strangers’.   As a kid this was hard for me.  I trusted people too easily.  I didn’t know any better.  But now-a-days, this lesson doesn’t just apply to talking to strangers in person, it also covers talking to strangers on the internet.

The internet can be accessed just about anywhere from almost all electronic devices.  If you have access to the internet then you will have access to the hundreds of social networks out there like Facebook, Tweeter, and MySpace just to name a few.  If you have an iPhone, then you know there is an app for these social networks.  This makes access even easier and more dangerous for our kids and family.

As parents I am sure we try our best to monitor our kids online usage.  Some parents go as far as to add themselves to their kid’s social network groups.  That’s a start!

But it has to start even before that.  I’m not here to tell you how to parent your child, but I believe if you want your kid to learn important lessons, you have to teach them early.  This idea of not talking to strangers should apply to strangers in person and strangers online.   There are just too many evil people out there and they have gotten smarter over time.

These ’strangers’ use social websites to gather information about you, where you are, when you’re not home, etc.  They don’t even have to be added to your social network.  If your status updates are visible to the public, then there is some risks that you could be targeted by ‘these people’.

I hate to see people being victimized by these tech savvy ’strangers’.   Please inform your kids and family to be more discreet in their online status and offline encounters with ’strangers.  Society is not what it used to be.

Do as I say, not what I do.

See the rest of our Nispiros Portal Lessons.

Scratch My Back

Remember the good ole days of ‘I Scratch Your Back, You Scratch Mine’?  Today it’s more like ‘I Scratch Your Back, You Stab Mine’.  Seriously, what is up with everyone?!

Has the scare of the economy have all us fighting and being more competitive?  Have reality shows glamorized the payoffs of being single minded?  Someone help me understand.

Remember when you helped a friend move.  You got up early on a Saturday morning, dragged yourself out of bed, and put on your moving clothes just to help ‘a friend‘ in need.  A friend that you’ve known for years and went through thick and thin.  A friend that you supported at work or school.  A friend you bought cookies for fund raising events.  A friend that you helped out of a jam.  A friend whose family you’ve supported in one way or another.  A friend that you thought would return the favor someday.  Remember those days?  I surely do and unfortunately, they don’t.

This tells me a few things.

1.  The people I thought were friends aren’t

2.  The family members I thought were genuinely concerned aren’t

3.  That I shouldn’t expect anything from anyone regardless of the favors I do for them or regardless of our relationship or past experience together

4.  Cherish your friends and family who have the best intentions for you and for all.

There was a time in my life when I would do things unconditionally and without complaint.  A smile and a handshake was all it took.  But now as I’m older with a few more life lessons under my belt, it isn’t so easy to help mankind without some sort of expectation in return.

I’m all of a sudden in that ‘what’s in it for me?’ mentality.  I help you, you help me is how it’s gonna be from now on lol.

See the rest of our Nispiros Portal Lessons.

Stay in School

My grandmother (Lola) was a strong supporter of a good education.  She believed in it so much.  She know that value of a good eduction in this country.  My mom barely finished grade school before my Lola started to take care of her.  Back in the day, school was a luxury.  I guess it’s not free like the public schools here in the States.  Free is a relative word.  But the bottom line is that my mom didn’t have the book smarts she wanted.

Dad was the same way.  He knew and knows the importance of a good education.  He supported me financially through high school and college.  I still had to work though.  Tuition and books on a quarterly system was quite a burden.  Dad gave me just enough to cover rent and food.  The rest came from financial aid.

From Lola down to my dad, we all believe that education is important.  It is what gets you through this life and prepares for your future.  It is an accomplishment to be proud of.  It is something that is valuable and rare in our family.  It’s not impossible, it just takes discipline and hard work.  Long hours of study and memorization are a requirement.  The payoff is priceless.

Check out the 5 reasons to stay in school from the National Dropout Prevention Center/Network:

Top 5 Reasons to Stay in School

1. High school dropouts are four times as likely to be unemployed as those who have completed four or more years of college;
2. Graduating from high school will determine how well you live for the next 50 years of your life. High school graduates earn $143 more per week than high school dropouts. College graduates earn $336 more per week than high school graduates ($479 more per week than high school dropouts);
3. Dropouts are more likely to apply for and receive public assistance than graduates of high school;
4. Dropouts comprise a disproportionate percentage of the nation’s prison and death row inmates. 82% of prisoners in America are high school dropouts;
5. School districts all over the country provide alternative programs for students who are not successful in the usual school setting. The best programs in the country are featured in our Model Programs Database. The database can be searched for programs in your city and/or state.

I know there are things that happen to make you want to drop out of school, but it’s not worth it believe me.  Do not get caught up in making money.  Once kids get the taste of money from part time jobs, then they think that’s all they need to survive.  Part time jobs are supposed to supplement your financial situation towards school expenses.

Find the right friends.  The wrong kind of friends are the ones that drop out of school and try to influence you to do the same.  They are the ones into drugs and other bad things.  These are the type of friends you want to stay away from.  They are more trouble then they are worth.  The right friends motivate you to study and to appreciate all the goodness in this life.

Balance your activities between schooling, sports, music and other meaningful things.  Once you get out of school you can catch up on other things you may have missed.  By then, you will have the means and support to do whatever you want in this life.  But whatever you do, stay in school.

See the rest of our Nispiros Portal Lessons.

Street Smarts

What is the world coming to?  Today I was listening to CNN and they talked about how kids are dying every week on the streets of Chicago.  Somehow kids are dealing with their problems with violence.  One kid was shot twice in the same neighborhood just riding his bike.  I’m not sure how that could have been avoided.  He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

There are plenty of things that can be done and I’ll leave that to the politicians, educators, and law enforcement agents to figure out.  While these groups are figuring out a solution, this would be a good time to develop your street smarts.

Street smarts isn’t something you learn in school, it’s something you learn on the ’streets’ by observing people.  It’s like a game.  When I go out to public places I always make sure I’m sitting in the power position.  The power position is the seat that have view to the door and can see everything in that area.  I never had my back to the door and I always pay attention to what is going around me, the sounds around me, and just paying attention to my surroundings.

When I walk around I try to keep my hand outside of my pockets.  I want to be able to use my hands in an emergency situation.  Keeping your hands in your pockets will leave you vulnerable (unless you’re holding pepper spray or have your house keys wrapped in-between your fingers).

Having street smarts also means having common sense.  It means not walking to your car by yourself at night.  It means always thinking about your safety and staying out of bad places.  Sometimes you are in situations that are out of your control.  Best thing is to get in control and get in a comfortable and safe environment.  Nothing is worth your safety.

Being alert includes profiling people.  I know it’s bad, but it’s what I do.  If I see a suspicious person, I keep my eye on him.  I watch his movements and observe any unusual behavior.  This behavior includes constantly watching for authorities, gazing at children, monitoring women’s belonging, etc.  Sometimes I wish I had a photographic memory so I could recall a face at will.

Don’t be fooled either.  Having street smarts means being tough and not letting anyone BS you or rope you into something you do not want to do.  There are lessons in school that are important to remember.  Don’t talk to strangers.  Don’t ride in a strangers car.  Don’t walk home alone.  I’m sure there are more tips that the schools teach now-a-days.  Learn them all if you’re still in school.  If not, then Google ‘safety tips‘ and see what you find.

See the rest of our Nispiros Portal Lessons.

Saying ‘yeah yeah’ doesn’t mean anything.  However, saying ‘yes in 5 minutes’ is better than saying ‘yeah yeah’.  This is another one of our Nispiros Lessons.

Growing up there was nothing more annoying to my mom than me saying ‘yeah yeah’ LOL.  Rolando do this, Rolando do that.  ‘Yeah yeah’.

Now that I’m in the corporate world, ‘yeah yeah’ certainly does not cut it.  If I was President of the United States such as our President Obama, I’m sure he would not have been elected if he responded ‘yeah yeah’.  When my boss says he’d like to see a headline report on his desk in the morning, I’m sure he means a lot more than just a summary of tasks and statistics.  He means, show me a headlines report that talks to the initiatives that we are working on in the company and present it in a way that will wow me.  This is probably what he means by having a headlines report in the morning.

Trash

Following through is easy, but it does take time, discipline, and commitment.  It takes time, because you have to make sure you have a plan.  It’s not just about committing to a task, but it’s also how you carry it out and how the instructions are given to you.

For example, taking the trash out means also replacing the trash liner and making sure you locked the garden gate.

It also means making sure you’ve gone through out the house and making sure all possible garbage is disposed of, not the the waste that’s in the kitchen trash can.  It also means checking the recycle bin in the pantry and laundry room and making sure they are empty.  This is what I mean by taking the trash out.

See, my mom never explained what she meant.  She just said take out the trash and that’s what I did.  I just took the trash from the kitchen garbage can and that’s it.  I could have asked what did she mean?  But then she’d probably say, use your common sense.  You see there are garbage cans in the bedrooms and bathrooms, empty those too!

Lesson here is follow through AND ask questions.  Ask what the expectations are of the tasks.  This will set you up for success.   Otherwise, you might feel the wrath of the evil slipper.

See the rest of our Nispiros Portal Lessons.

Best Friends

But you know, she never really explained what she meant.  What she really meant to say is that pick good friends.  Pick friends that are nice with good morals and with a good sense of judgment.  Pick friends like you that are honest, friendly, and that are a good influence.  Pick friends that are smart and worldly and won’t cheat on you or stab your back.

When I think my long life friends, friends I’ve known for 20 years or more, I think about how we are the same, the history we’ve shared, and how thankful I am to have had such friends.  When you are younger and busy working, you think you have time to make friends.  I’d say, don’t wait.  Make friends now when you’re young and full of energy.

Your life friends will probably start to come to you when you’re in Jr. High School or High School.  Take advantage of that time and don’t hurry to start working.  Make friends and chose them wisely.

See the rest of our Nispiros Portal Lessons.

This is a continuation of the ‘Nispiros Lessons’.  I know it’s easy to look at someone and make a snap judgment about his or her success or lack of it.  But don’t let that influence your decision on how you will interact with that person.  Get to know them.  Talk to them.  Dig deeper.  Ask questions, inquire, then make your decision.

I’m not perfect at it, but don’t make a quick judgment just because I haven’t demonstrated this skill.  Use your own brain and do the right thing.  Just because a person is not wearing the latest fashion or not sporting most recent hair style doesn’t make them not cool.  What makes them cool is what they are and who they are on the inside.

A sincere friend, a loyal partner, or a person who touches your heart, is priceless.   Genuine happiness can not be bought.  Don’t let opportunities pass you by because you were early to judge.

Take a look a Susan Boyle and you’ll understand a fraction of what I’m trying to say. The rest of you will have to learn on your own.

Britains Got Talent 2009 – Susan Boyle

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Balancing Act

Work, play, and home life.  How does one create a balance?  We only have so many hours in a day.  When do people have time to hit the gym, go to work, pay the bills, do the laundry, and spend quality time with their families?  How has the turn in the economy impacted our ability to manage our time?

In this economy it seems to me that people are spending more time at work.  People are working longer and harder because of the change in their work environment.  There are less people trying to meet the same output of a full staff.  It’s a very stressful situation.  There is more visibility when there are fewer people and I’m sure management is keeping a watchful eye on everyone.  No one is safe.

So now you’re driving home reflecting on the day’s work, thinking what you could have done better.  You are still worried about the economy and your position.  A position that could easily be terminated or replaced at a fraction of the cost.  How do you turn off your work mode so you can get into your family mode?

Are you greeted with open arms from your loved ones and trampled by unconditional loving pets?  If you are, then it’s a great way to flip mental switch from work to home.  Taking care of the family is still work, but a work and labor of love.  It means balancing your responsibilities and finding quality time with your family members.  This is not always an easy task.  During these times everyone has to be flexible and working towards the same end result and that is survival.

Survival means everyone doing their part to be more cost conscious.  It could mean something as simple as turning off unused lights to save electricity, consolidating trips to save gas, or canceling magazine subscriptions to magazine you no longer read.  The list goes on and on.

Saving money doesn’t necessary mean less fun.  There are plenty of things to do which cost little to nothing.  You could play board games, take walks together, have backyard picnics and basically do anything you want.  Be creative, but most of all have fun.  It’s easy to get caught up with surfing the web, playing video games, and tinkering with your vehicle.

No matter what your circumstance is, you have to find the right balance that suits you and your family.  Some days will be better than others and it’s important to be flexible, understanding, and patient.  Talk about how to create balance and get agreement.  Hopefully, this will reduce stress and lift spirits.

See the rest of our Nispiros Portal Lessons.

Read Before Signing

I learning something in college called ‘instant gratification’.  At the time it was used to explain why Filipinos were not in politics here in the States.  It’s because of this need for instant gratification.  We want it now.  I’ll sign what ever it is so I can get what I want now.  Now, now, now!

As you can see from the state of our economy, instant gratification is not good.  It’s not good for Filipinos or any other kind of people for that matter.  People signed off for mortgage products they couldn’t afford and that of course started a land slide.  It seems that instant gratification blinds us from what is right and what makes common sense.  It makes us forget about the ‘what if’s’.  What if I lose my job, what if interest rates go up, what if my tenants move out?  There are too many ‘what ifs’ in today’s economy.

The same goes for high interest rate credit cards, signing off as co-signer on a car, etc.  The devil is always going to be in the details, so please be careful.  It’s always a good idea to bring someone with a level head, who will not gain from your decision, but has your best interest at heart, to any negotiation that you are about to embark on.

You’ve heard this before, ‘you can’t judge a book by it’s cover’.  So read the details and always sign with caution.  It’s worth it to take an extra minute or two instead of spending a lifetime trying to correct an problem that could have been avoided.

As mom used to say, ‘do as I say and not as I do’.

See the rest of our Nispiros Portal Lessons.