No to strangers

Growing up our teachers and parents would always say, ‘don’t talk to strangers’.   As a kid this was hard for me.  I trusted people too easily.  I didn’t know any better.  But now-a-days, this lesson doesn’t just apply to talking to strangers in person, it also covers talking to strangers on the internet.

The internet can be accessed just about anywhere from almost all electronic devices.  If you have access to the internet then you will have access to the hundreds of social networks out there like Facebook, Tweeter, and MySpace just to name a few.  If you have an iPhone, then you know there is an app for these social networks.  This makes access even easier and more dangerous for our kids and family.

As parents I am sure we try our best to monitor our kids online usage.  Some parents go as far as to add themselves to their kid’s social network groups.  That’s a start!

But it has to start even before that.  I’m not here to tell you how to parent your child, but I believe if you want your kid to learn important lessons, you have to teach them early.  This idea of not talking to strangers should apply to strangers in person and strangers online.   There are just too many evil people out there and they have gotten smarter over time.

These ’strangers’ use social websites to gather information about you, where you are, when you’re not home, etc.  They don’t even have to be added to your social network.  If your status updates are visible to the public, then there is some risks that you could be targeted by ‘these people’.

I hate to see people being victimized by these tech savvy ’strangers’.   Please inform your kids and family to be more discreet in their online status and offline encounters with ’strangers.  Society is not what it used to be.

Do as I say, not what I do.

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Scratch My Back

Remember the good ole days of ‘I Scratch Your Back, You Scratch Mine’?  Today it’s more like ‘I Scratch Your Back, You Stab Mine’.  Seriously, what is up with everyone?!

Has the scare of the economy have all us fighting and being more competitive?  Have reality shows glamorized the payoffs of being single minded?  Someone help me understand.

Remember when you helped a friend move.  You got up early on a Saturday morning, dragged yourself out of bed, and put on your moving clothes just to help ‘a friend‘ in need.  A friend that you’ve known for years and went through thick and thin.  A friend that you supported at work or school.  A friend you bought cookies for fund raising events.  A friend that you helped out of a jam.  A friend whose family you’ve supported in one way or another.  A friend that you thought would return the favor someday.  Remember those days?  I surely do and unfortunately, they don’t.

This tells me a few things.

1.  The people I thought were friends aren’t

2.  The family members I thought were genuinely concerned aren’t

3.  That I shouldn’t expect anything from anyone regardless of the favors I do for them or regardless of our relationship or past experience together

4.  Cherish your friends and family who have the best intentions for you and for all.

There was a time in my life when I would do things unconditionally and without complaint.  A smile and a handshake was all it took.  But now as I’m older with a few more life lessons under my belt, it isn’t so easy to help mankind without some sort of expectation in return.

I’m all of a sudden in that ‘what’s in it for me?’ mentality.  I help you, you help me is how it’s gonna be from now on lol.

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Stay in School

My grandmother (Lola) was a strong supporter of a good education.  She believed in it so much.  She know that value of a good eduction in this country.  My mom barely finished grade school before my Lola started to take care of her.  Back in the day, school was a luxury.  I guess it’s not free like the public schools here in the States.  Free is a relative word.  But the bottom line is that my mom didn’t have the book smarts she wanted.

Dad was the same way.  He knew and knows the importance of a good education.  He supported me financially through high school and college.  I still had to work though.  Tuition and books on a quarterly system was quite a burden.  Dad gave me just enough to cover rent and food.  The rest came from financial aid.

From Lola down to my dad, we all believe that education is important.  It is what gets you through this life and prepares for your future.  It is an accomplishment to be proud of.  It is something that is valuable and rare in our family.  It’s not impossible, it just takes discipline and hard work.  Long hours of study and memorization are a requirement.  The payoff is priceless.

Check out the 5 reasons to stay in school from the National Dropout Prevention Center/Network:

Top 5 Reasons to Stay in School

1. High school dropouts are four times as likely to be unemployed as those who have completed four or more years of college;
2. Graduating from high school will determine how well you live for the next 50 years of your life. High school graduates earn $143 more per week than high school dropouts. College graduates earn $336 more per week than high school graduates ($479 more per week than high school dropouts);
3. Dropouts are more likely to apply for and receive public assistance than graduates of high school;
4. Dropouts comprise a disproportionate percentage of the nation’s prison and death row inmates. 82% of prisoners in America are high school dropouts;
5. School districts all over the country provide alternative programs for students who are not successful in the usual school setting. The best programs in the country are featured in our Model Programs Database. The database can be searched for programs in your city and/or state.

I know there are things that happen to make you want to drop out of school, but it’s not worth it believe me.  Do not get caught up in making money.  Once kids get the taste of money from part time jobs, then they think that’s all they need to survive.  Part time jobs are supposed to supplement your financial situation towards school expenses.

Find the right friends.  The wrong kind of friends are the ones that drop out of school and try to influence you to do the same.  They are the ones into drugs and other bad things.  These are the type of friends you want to stay away from.  They are more trouble then they are worth.  The right friends motivate you to study and to appreciate all the goodness in this life.

Balance your activities between schooling, sports, music and other meaningful things.  Once you get out of school you can catch up on other things you may have missed.  By then, you will have the means and support to do whatever you want in this life.  But whatever you do, stay in school.

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Street Smarts

What is the world coming to?  Today I was listening to CNN and they talked about how kids are dying every week on the streets of Chicago.  Somehow kids are dealing with their problems with violence.  One kid was shot twice in the same neighborhood just riding his bike.  I’m not sure how that could have been avoided.  He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

There are plenty of things that can be done and I’ll leave that to the politicians, educators, and law enforcement agents to figure out.  While these groups are figuring out a solution, this would be a good time to develop your street smarts.

Street smarts isn’t something you learn in school, it’s something you learn on the ’streets’ by observing people.  It’s like a game.  When I go out to public places I always make sure I’m sitting in the power position.  The power position is the seat that have view to the door and can see everything in that area.  I never had my back to the door and I always pay attention to what is going around me, the sounds around me, and just paying attention to my surroundings.

When I walk around I try to keep my hand outside of my pockets.  I want to be able to use my hands in an emergency situation.  Keeping your hands in your pockets will leave you vulnerable (unless you’re holding pepper spray or have your house keys wrapped in-between your fingers).

Having street smarts also means having common sense.  It means not walking to your car by yourself at night.  It means always thinking about your safety and staying out of bad places.  Sometimes you are in situations that are out of your control.  Best thing is to get in control and get in a comfortable and safe environment.  Nothing is worth your safety.

Being alert includes profiling people.  I know it’s bad, but it’s what I do.  If I see a suspicious person, I keep my eye on him.  I watch his movements and observe any unusual behavior.  This behavior includes constantly watching for authorities, gazing at children, monitoring women’s belonging, etc.  Sometimes I wish I had a photographic memory so I could recall a face at will.

Don’t be fooled either.  Having street smarts means being tough and not letting anyone BS you or rope you into something you do not want to do.  There are lessons in school that are important to remember.  Don’t talk to strangers.  Don’t ride in a strangers car.  Don’t walk home alone.  I’m sure there are more tips that the schools teach now-a-days.  Learn them all if you’re still in school.  If not, then Google ‘safety tips‘ and see what you find.

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I know this is easier said than done, but you should always follow through on your commitments.  If you say something, then you should do it.  This involves careful thought because you want to be sure you can actually do what you say.  It might be good to under promise and over deliver, but I believe you’ll be just as reputable if you just do what you say when you say you’re going to do it.

Saying ‘yeah yeah’ doesn’t mean anything.  However, saying ‘yes in 5 minutes’ is better than saying ‘yeah yeah’.  This is another one of our Nispiros Lessons.

Growing up there was nothing more annoying to my mom than me saying ‘yeah yeah’ LOL.  Rolando do this, Rolando do that.  ‘Yeah yeah’.

Now that I’m in the corporate world, ‘yeah yeah’ certainly does not cut it.  If I was President of the United States such as our President Obama, I’m sure he would not have been elected if he responded ‘yeah yeah’.  When my boss says he’d like to see a headline report on his desk in the morning, I’m sure he means a lot more than just a summary of tasks and statistics.  He means, show me a headlines report that talks to the initiatives that we are working on in the company and present it in a way that will wow me.  This is probably what he means by having a headlines report in the morning.

Trash

Following through is easy, but it does take time, discipline, and commitment.  It takes time, because you have to make sure you have a plan.  It’s not just about committing to a task, but it’s also how you carry it out and how the instructions are given to you.

For example, taking the trash out means also replacing the trash liner and making sure you locked the garden gate.

It also means making sure you’ve gone through out the house and making sure all possible garbage is disposed of, not the the waste that’s in the kitchen trash can.  It also means checking the recycle bin in the pantry and laundry room and making sure they are empty.  This is what I mean by taking the trash out.

See, my mom never explained what she meant.  She just said take out the trash and that’s what I did.  I just took the trash from the kitchen garbage can and that’s it.  I could have asked what did she mean?  But then she’d probably say, use your common sense.  You see there are garbage cans in the bedrooms and bathrooms, empty those too!

Lesson here is follow through AND ask questions.  Ask what the expectations are of the tasks.  This will set you up for success.   Otherwise, you might feel the wrath of the evil slipper.

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